Always with you
by clandestine-x0x0
Summary: Kaoru wakes up to find out that her whole life with Kenshin was just a dream. Or that's what she wants herself to think. Can she still live without Kenshin who died a long time ago?


**Always with you**

It had been 3 months since Kaoru "died", and woke up from her apparent dream. But she knew it couldn't have been a dream; the emotions she had felt were too deep, his haunted eyes were too amethyst, his scar too sharp. The hurt in his heart was too obvious; the atoning of his past was too sincere, his earnestness in saving people was too honourable. Their first kiss was too affectionate, the pain of being separated was too excruciating, the uncovering of his dark mysterious past too overwhelming. The joy of realizing that her love wasn't unrequited was too blissful, the confession and him proposing was too breathtaking, and the feel of his skin against hers was too electrifying.

She did try to get on with her real life, but she couldn't put out the fact that her other life with Kenshin was also real. Dreams fade away like mist in the morning, but this dream was no dream. It was etched in her head like she actually lived that lifetime. And she really did live that lifetime; it even said so on her family's ancient records. It said that Kamiya Kaoru really did live in the time era of Himura Kenshin, also known as the Hitokiri Battousai. But they didn't say in detail what happened to the two of them. They just... lived at the same time, in the same area, in the same town. The people who wrote her family's records didn't know what REALLY happened.

Kaoru's mother noticed that she wasn't her usual happy-go-lucky self. In fact, she was quieter, more subdued, and paler. Kaoru did come up with a severe illness 3 months ago, but the doctors said that she did get better. But why did it seem like as if the life was flowing out of her?

One day, Kaoru came home from school by herself, as it had been for the past three months. She froze as she came up to her house. She squinted in the hot sun and she saw the dojo in which she and Kenshin had so many memories together. Suddenly, her head felt vertigo, and her face met the ground. 'Maybe I can go back to that time.' she thought. "Kenshin, come back." then she surrendered herself to the darkness.

But reliving another lifetime is impossible, and if it did happen once by utter chance, it can never happen again. So instead, she woke up in her sleep and saw herself in the field where she and Kenshin once spent the night.

"Kenshin!" She screamed out. "Where are you? Help me, I need you! Remember your promise? You said you'd be there when I needed you; you said you'd never let me be unhappy. You said you'd protect me and never allow me to die! But look at me. You and I must face the truth. I'm going to die. Don't blame yourself; it was my fault for falling in love with you. I should've known to keep my distance from you, I should've known that dreams are mere wisps of imagination your mind creates. I'm dying because of someone that doesn't exist, or I want to believe that you don't exist."

"But I know you're real, and even though I keep wishing you were a figment of my imagination. I know what I'm feeling is real. I hope I can see you when I die. I give up on living. Life is nothing without you. You're like the air I breathe... Without it, life cannot be sustained. I need you with me, I can't lie to myself. I can't survive without you, even though you've been gone a long time ago... Fate is merciless... You've been gone a long time ago... You're dead..." Kaoru felt numb all over after she spoke those words. Reality hit her like a hurricane. 'He's been dead for a long time...' her mind whispered. She felt weaker and weaker.

"_I want to die." _

As soon as she uttered her death wish, she heard a familiar voice that brought energy to her soul.

"Kaoru, don't be so foolish and rash. Don't die. You must live. Was it not you that told this one that living was already the way to redemption? That by living you can make things right again, you can make your life happy once more? Death is like giving up; on the person you're dying for, and on yourself. Did you already lose faith in this one? Did this one not promise you that he would come back for you no matter what lifetime? Kaoru if you die, this one dies with you."

Kaoru followed Kenshin's voice.

"Kenshin where are you? Please I need to see you. I need you, I miss you, I want you..."

She searched everywhere until she came to a high stone wall.

"Kenshin? Are you behind there?"

_Silence._

Desperate, Kaoru tried to climb over the wall. But each time she almost got over the top, she'd slip and fall back down. After many tries, her hands and knees were bloody with effort.

"Kaoru stop. Please do not hurt yourself for this one. No one is behind the wall. This is Fate's will that this one cannot see you and you cannot see this one. We must respect that, no matter how it hurts." Kenshin's voice reprimanded gently.

"No! If I can't see you that means the voice I hear now isn't you! You aren't here; this is also another creation of my imagination. You were gone a long time ago. As I should have been, but as unlucky as I was, I was given another life to live. Yet it's meaningless without you. Please... come back to me."

Kaoru heard a soft chuckle. "Oh Kaoru, this one is already there with you." She trembled.

"I don't understand Kenshin. Stop playing games with me... You're not here! You aren't with me! That's why I'm sick and can't get better! The only way for me to get better is if I see you and feel you..."

Kenshin sighed. "Shh, listen to the things around you for a moment, don't make a sound."

Kaoru stood still, as her heartbeat filled the stillness.

"This one is the beat in your heart; the moonlight you can see shining at night. The whisper in the wind and the sunlight touching your hair with the tips of its rays."

Kaoru's eyes widened as she opened her heart to the world around her.

"Can't you feel the love that we share? It's stronger than time itself, if it did permit us to relive our lifetime together a second time. This one promised to come for you, and this one never breaks his promise. It may take another millennium, but promise kept, we will find each other. But for now, live for me. Don't give up hope, no matter how tough life gets. This one wants you to be happy, and please, if ever you feel alone or scared... remember that this one is there with you. This one begs you to live your life out to the fullest and smile like you would if he was there with you. _I love you_." Kenshin's voice slowly faded away.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru screamed. "D-don't...leave m-me..."

"This one will never leave you." Then he was gone.

There was a complete heartbreaking silence.

Kaoru's eyes snapped open and she found herself sitting up in a hospital bed, with tubes attached all over her body. "Kenshin..." she gasped.

At that moment, a breeze fluttered into the room and slightly parted the curtains, allowing the sunlight's soft morning rays to hit her face. "Always with you..." the wind whispered in her ear. Tears formed in Kaoru's eyes and her heart beat a little faster. The monitor beside her started picking up her heart's speed as life flooded back into Kaoru's veins. The doctors came rushing in and saw her sitting up in bed with the sunlight making the tears streaming down her face sparkle like diamonds.

"I'm okay now." she murmured.

The doctor stood amazed. "We thought you were going to die. Your condition was deteriorating fast, and you've slipped into a coma for the past 2 weeks. We were debating whether to take you off life support because we thought you would never wake up. It seemed that your body just had no will to live. But now..."

Kaoru smiled through her tears, through her pain, and through her joy.

"Yes, I'm going to live again. For myself, and for..." She cut herself off.

_And for him._


End file.
